Hurry Up & Wait...A Mother's Conflicted Heart

I hope you can muddle your way through this long post – perhaps you have some good advice for me, or can relate to where I am at this stage of motherhood.  Either way, I hope you leave this blog with a hopeful, happy heart!
Today was a very interesting home school day.  Katherine and I are only two days away from completing a world history study of ancient times through the rise of the European Renaissance.  It has been – by far – her favorite subject again this year.  And I have (re-) learned SO MUCH!  It has been wonderful to work through this curriculum together, and I LOVE watching her continued love of history grow into a real passion. 

Our history study is wrapping up with the discovery of the Americas and Queen Elizabeth’s desire to beat Spain in the race to colonize North America.  For those of you who know Katherine, early American history has been her passion since first grade (thank you American Girl and the Felicity series).  Kat has always been intrigued by the “lost colony” of Roanoke, and this event is where we are ending our studies. 

So, today, Katherine spent about three hours doing her own research (in her pajamas) on what could have happened to these first English settlers.  (Thank you, Lord, for the blessing of home school so that she can do these kinds of spontaneous things!)  The girl took notes and has her own personal opinion about what happened.  She whipped out maps, encyclopedias, world atlases, and watched goo-gobs of videos on archeological digs of the Outer Banks. 
So, what’s all of this about hurry up and wait?

Well, this line of inquiry led Katherine onto the subject of attending her dream college – The College of William and Mary in Williamsburg, Virginia.  On the cusp of starting junior high, she’s already beginning to focus on her high school courses and making the grades to get into William and Mary.  While as a “teacher”, this excites me beyond belief, but as a mother, I want to turn back the clock to where we played in her Little Tykes playhouse and took care of her babydolls.

Don’t get me wrong:  I don’t want to hold back my daughter – MY ONLY CHILD.  J  I’m REALLY excited that she has the desire, motivation and determination to go for what she wants.  I’m excited for her to grow up, go away to college, to learn new things, experience life on her own, and to find her way in the world.  I know that God has GREAT things in store for my girl, and I know that He will help her make good choices and lead her to make a positive difference for this world.  I totally trust Him, and her.

But the reality is:  I am SO not ready for all of that awesomeness.  And to see how quickly it is approaching makes me feel faint.  And how excited she is about it.

I don’t think I will ever be ready. 

However, as her teacher my job is to help her reach her academic goals by helping her make tough academic choices, challenging her, reinforcing concepts in areas where she is weak, encouraging her to power through the harder courses.  As her parent, I have to support her goals and encourage her dreams – even if that means she moves far away to go to college.  (Hold on, the room has started to spin!)

She was excited today to learn that William and Mary has a Chi Alpha ministry (a Pentecostal ministry funded by the Assemblies of God).  This might have been a deal breaker for her because she has recently considered a few Christian colleges.

This revelation further cements my belief that God has some really big plans for Katherine.

And lastly, the big bonus for Katherine is that William and Mary has a Division 1 women’s swim team.  If she continues to make the time cuts she’s been making, she may have a shot of both an academic and a swim scholarship. 

All of these things have stirred up in both of us the excitement of growing up and of what is to come.  Today I’ve had to face the fact that there are lots of things that need to come together over the next few years and we have to HURRY to start planning for those things NOW.  Decisions about high school seemed so far away, but the reality is that it is only 2 years away and those decisions will affect her collegiate dreams.

All I want to do is WAIT – that way she can’t grow up on me, right…?

Blessings to you,

1 comment:

  1. I love the pictures you included on this one. Boy was her hair blonde!!


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